Using Time as a Sign of Caring
By Dr. Tony Alessandra

Someone who’s frequently late sends the message that he or she does not care aboutthe people they keep waiting. This may not be true, but that’s the message, and it may injure your chance to create rapport. Therefore, our accuracy with time often broadcasts a signal about our priorities, though it may not be the signal we mean to send.

Because time is viewed as such a scarce resource, people we choose to spend it with often taken as a signal of whom we care about. You can build more productive relationships by simply sharing with others your reasons for spending your time as you do.

Let’s say you’re a manager who absolutely must spend some time returning a series of important phone calls. You might tell your employees: “Hey, I’m going to be out of pocket this morning on an important matter I can’t dodge. But I should be free by early afternoon, and the door to my office will be open, as usual. Thanks for understanding.” That way, those you usually talk to won’t feel shunned.

Time also can be used to demonstrate how we feel about others in terms of their status and power. If the president of the company calls a junior manager to her office for a meeting, the manager will probably arrive before the appointed time. Because of the difference in status, most subordinates would probably feel that any inconvenience in waiting ought to be theirs. The president’s time is implicitly regarded as worth more and, therefore, is not to be wasted.

But nonetheless, the longer people are kept waiting, the worse they’re likely to feel. Imagine a middle manager summoned to a meeting with the president at 1:00 p.m. She arrives at a respectful 12:50, and remains comfortable until 1:10, when she asks the secretary to remind the president that she’s there. If the secretary checks and then conveys that the president will be right with her, the manager will probably remain comfortable until around 1:25.

By 1:45, however, she’s likely to be quite angry and to assume that the president doesn’t really care about seeing her. If the president then has the manager sent in and proceeds directly to the business at hand without offering an explanation, the manager will probably feel hurt. This may affect the meeting and the relationship negatively.

But, on the other hand, if the president apologizes and shares some inside information while explaining why he’s running late, the manager is more apt to get over it because, after all, the boss’s time is very important.

Human beings like reasons for things. If you have a good reason for being late, you have a chance to do some damage control. A legitimate excuse and some reassurance can help the other person feel better. And the longer a person is kept waiting, the more reassurance is required to neutralize the irritation.

Remember we do business with people and stuff sometimes happens. People are understand if it happens once, but if it happens repeatedly, they are less forgiving.

To Your Success,

Ron Finklestein

Your Small Business Success Expert
330-990-0788
i...@yourbusinesscoach.net